Girl Guide Cookies

I happened to see these Girl Guide Cookies selling in a hotel during last Christmas and I bought the chocolate mint cookies just to try them out (they were recommended). Since I finished that 1 box, I had been having cookie withdrawal syndrome! When I 'discovered' the Girl Guides selling the cookies again somewhere near where I am staying, I was so happy! Cookie heaven!

Trust me, the chocolate mint ones are truly not to be missed. And that's coming from someone who doesn't really enjoy chocolate mints. I gave a box of them to another friend who is a chocolate and cookie fan and she also said they were delicious! By the way, she doesn't take chocolate mint too but I only realised that much later. :P

Oh, I am not going to tell you where they are selling. Figure it out youself. You know what they say, the food tastes much better after you worked for it! Hahaha!

Sorry

Some day I will send you a letter to say 'I am sorry.' Not because I feel that I was wrong. But because I can't stand this taciturnity any more. Until then, I guess we would just have to endure this deafening silence.

Another day, another death.

Prologue: You know you are getting old when the only times you get to catch up with your friends are at weddings and funerals.

The dad of another friend of mine passed away last Saturday. Even though we drifted apart after leaving school, we were close then. Doing projects, leaving classes early, shopping and 'cheonging' together, granted that the last 3 probably weren't very scholarly actions. I attended the wake on Monday and somehow I felt really sad (like at the previous wake). Not that you are not supposed to be sad at funerals but it is not as if I knew her dad personally. What I did know is that she is extremely close to her family (just as my other friend is), especially to her dad.

I, on the other hand, am not close to my family members. Most of the time, they wouldn't know where, what or how the hell I am. I came to the conclusion that the sadness I felt is mainly for myself cos I will never experience the same kind of pain that my friends were/are feeling.

Unhappily depressed

I really do try. I do. Every morning, I wake up with the thought 'It's going to be a great day!', but by noon that particular thought has totally dissipated. Collapsed like a house of cards if you will.
And every thing else in the day goes completely downhill.

It is not as if I am unfamiliar with the concept of 'unhappiness', I used to be happily depressed. Yes, you heard me correctly, happily depressed. There is such a thing as happily depressed. But the key words here are 'used to'.

I also used to live by the advocate that happiness is in one's own hands, literally. You know, you control your own fate, your destiny, ya-da, ya-da.... NOT anymore! That has more or less been flushed down the toilet bowl, if you catch the drift. I really do not know why people around me just have to aggravate me. Do I have the sticker 'sucker' or 'piss me' pasted on my forehead?? Sometimes I really start to wonder.

I have not felt a spark of happiness for maybe the past 2 - 3 weeks. And to top it all off, I almost burnt down the house on Thursday night. I left the stove on while I went to bed. By the time it was discovered at 6 am, the whole pot was charred and the whole house stank!

I think I am the epitome of bad luck.

The void

You know how it is when the feelings come in waves, surging, relentless, pounding again and again. Disappointment, resentment, indignation, discontentment, embitterment, frustration, anger, fury.

Then it comes to a point when you are so tired of it all.
When the only thing you want to do is to escape from all of it.
"Run." They whispered.
"Leave." They called softly.
"Fly!" They urged.
You close your eyes and hear them.
You imagine them welcoming you with open arms.
All you want to do is to give in to their temptations.
Tantalizing, beautiful, seductive things.

All you want is to feel nothing. Even if it means giving up feeling happy.

It's my birthday!

Yeah, that's right. :)

A typical conversation (or did i mean an ATYPICAL coversation)

Last week, I was having an sms conversation with a friend and went like this:


Me: It's confirmed, i can finally meet u on fri for lunch! :)

Fren: Yippy! It's been a long time..... :(

Me: Yah. Yesterday i was just thinking it's been almost 4 mths since we met up. It's the longest we haven't seen each other rite? :(

Fren: U made it sound like we're lovers! *kiss*

Me: Haha! We are! *smooch*

Fren: OMG!!! :P

Me: Emotional lovers lar. I think we understand each other better than guys do us. Just that we can't have sex with each other! Haha! Haha!

Fren: Gross! But i have to agree with u. :/


You probably gathered by now that 'friend' is a female. :P

Itchy hands

I saw this the other day as i was going downstairs...




I just had to take a photo! God, how i miss playing Mahjong. I remember the days in school (secondary) when i was dubbed Mahjong Queen. I love playing mahjong. Couldn't resist it. I could do countless nights of overnight mahjong sessions. Well, last time we were very free wat. All we do is go to school, rite? :P

In fact, i was so addicted that i created Scrabble Mahjong back in the days when we finished our GCE 'O' Levels papers but still had to go to school everyday until school breaks for the holidays.

Like all good Singaporean schools, of cos we can't bring mahjong sets to school to play. But Scrabble, now that's a different story, no? The teachers love it. It's educational, it's challenging and it's teaches u to spell, increases your vocabulary and what not. Well, not to yours truly here. Hehe. So how does this Scrabble Mahjong work, u ask? It's brilliantly simple. All you need is a Scrabble set, and u choose 13 tiles from the bag instead of the usual 7. Mahjong needs 13 tiles wat! And all u need to do to win is, instead of the creating the usual suits, you just collect 'A-B-C' or 'A-A-A'. It's really simple. Yah, yah, i know. Not all the alphabets in Scrabble come in the same number of tiles.. so it's kinda unfair. I mean if u got a 'Q', it's quite unlikely to get a 'Q-Q-Q' versus a 'E-E-E' or an 'O-O-O'. Well, then use your brain. Discard the 'Q'! :P The funny part is u keep hearing all of us chanting 'a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n.....x, y, z.' Haha!

And the beauty of it all is.... here it comes, when a teacher walks in, all u need is a quick sweep of the hand and everything is all messed up. So the teacher thinks we all have been very good gals playing Scrabble when we were actually playing mahjong! No one is any wiser. I am good rite? Yeah, i know, i am.... :)


So now, for the million dollar question..... Anyone game for overnight mahjong? :D

Flour, sugar and eggs

I finally found something to entertain myself! And no, it doesn't need companionship... It's baking! Okie, actually i already knew how to bake long ago, but i just found the passion for it again recently.

Two things: First, i do not have a proper oven so currently i can only bake in this pathetic little toaster oven. And cos the oven is so small, it tends to burn the crusts even before the insides are cooked. So to lower the temperature of the oven, guess wat i have to do? Manually open and close the oven door! And to control the temperature of the oven? Switch off and on the main power. Pwwweeeeh! I seriously need a proper oven. Anyone wanna buy an oven for me for Christmas? :)

Second, i do not have an electric whisk so i have to beat and whisk the batter by hand. Do u have any freaking idea how tiring that is?? I think i have developed arm muscles....

Back to baking, i made chocolate cupcakes and oats & chocolate chip cookies so far (hey! i started only 2 weeks ago!). Below are some pictures. Doesn't look very nice but they are tasty (they are all gone)!



Chocolate cupcakes



Oats & chocolate chip cookies in progress

Baking in progress



Final product! Oats & chocolate chip cookies. :)

I shop, therefore, I am.

Went out today to run some errands and grab some groceries but who knows.... i got waylaid. By who? It's more like what. By bling bling shops, that's what. So instead of groceries, i got myself a nice bracelet. If u see someone wearing the bracelet below, it just might be me. :)

Now, if only i had a date to wear it out to. Hmmm...

My passion

I was out for tea with a friend who recently is 'unemployed by choice' (meaning resigned for the uninitiated) and she asked me what can she do to keep herself entertained. The conversation went something like this:

Fren: I am glad i resigned, i was seriously hating my job. But i am soooo bored now, and it's only been 1 week! What do u do to entertain yourself??

Me: I go shopping!

Fren: Got so many things to buy meh?

Me: Of cos! There are always things to buy! Any shop i walk into, i also can find something to buy!

Fren: But it's always the same stuff wat, how many times can u shop in orchard road or city hall?? Same shops, different outlets only wat. They are all selling the same things!

Me: NO! It's different wat. U can't finish all the shops in 1 day so every day it's different shops. Must learn to plan and rotate ur shopping so u see different things!

Fren rolls eyes.

Fren: Then where do u store all the stuff u bought?? I hate to see many things in my home.

Me: I operate on the 'first in, first out' basis, meaning when i buy something, i always go home and throw out something which i dun like. This way there is always an equilibrium! :)

Fren rolls eyes again.

Fren: U know, when u talk about shopping, your eyes seriously lit up. I think it's your passion. I need to find mine.

Me: Hahahaha...

Yeah, my passion. Now, if only my wallet feels the same way. Hahaha!

Here, kitty kitty kitty....

Saw this at La Senza when i was out shopping this afternoon! Oooooooh! I like! :)

In case u can't make it out.. the prints are black kitty cats, it's pink and the undies are garter style! Gosh, i sooooo wanna have it! :)

Too bad, i am extremely, extremely broke now... Would any kind soul like to sponsor my lingerie fund (i think it's only $65 for the bra and $35 for the undies)? Hahhahahaha.

P.S. Fashion parade not inclusive. :P

Dumb silly me!

Geee! I must be getting crazy or just plain dumber! The other day someone offered to buy me a new bag (while i was out shopping)... a gucci at that... and i... i.... i... actually refused the offer! Yeah. Me. Bag gal (okie, make that shoes gal, clothes gal, perfume gal, cosmetic gal, everything gal too. :P). Oh no, there must be something seriously wrong with my brains and logic that day. I sms-ed my galfren that nite to tell her wat had happened in the day. Below was the gist of the exchange.

Me says: someone wanted to buy me a new gucci bag but i din wan

Galfren says: why??!

Me says: cos i wan a black bag, the bag is not black

Galfren says: u dun wan it can still buy and give it to ME!

Ooops. My bad. Hahaahaa... This is the said bag in question.

But i wan a nice, classic, black bag! Probably something like this?

Ooooooh, look they have it in python skin! LOVELY! Guess it costs a bomb too.

Maybe i will end up with this...

So far so good...

It's Great Singapore Sale (GSS) time! Almost 3 weeks into the sale and i have bagged the following:

- 2 sexy, printed dresses from The Trunkshop inside Takashimaya @ $80. Usual price is $50 each.

- 2 sexy, black dresses from Hypnosis (the outlet at Vivocity, they have much nicer designs there) @ $70. One dress for $35 is cheap, no?

- another 2 dresses from some other shop at Citylink also @ $70.

- 2 sets of bra and undies from Blush @ $50! WOW!

- 2 pieces of lingerie (satin slip kind) from Blush @ $40! Double WOW WOW!

Haha! As u can see, i am enjoying myself.... :)

The only downside to all these shopping is my toes freaking hurt!

And so...

And so, here i am again... with nothing to blog about. My life is so uninterestingly predictable. Gosh... i really need some excitement. I am sitting here pondering.. how did it get sooooo boring?! I mean, hey, i used to the life of any party. My schedule was packed up to 2 weeks in advance, sometimes even up to 1 month! Now, it's like 'where-did-everyone-disappeared-to?'. Sigh. I guess we all have to grow up at some point of time. 'Commitments' is a scary word. It kills any kind of fun, seriously.

Yes, i am whining, grumbling, grousing.

My balance of being happily depressed is tipping over to the depressed side. And i am desperately trying to be indifferent to my feelings but i think i am fighting a losing battle. :(

Let me try to put it into mathematical terms for u.
Equation 1:
Not happy = Depressed = Need to shop = No money = More depressed

Equation 2:
Not happy = Depressed = Need to drink = Get wasted = More depressed

Equation 3:
Not happy = Depressed = Need to have senseless, emotionless sex = More depressed

Equation 4:
Not happy = Depressed = Dun feel like having any sex = More depressed
(Well, equation 3 & 4 swings both ways.)

Did i mention i like changes? Being unchangable kills my soul.....

Object of desire - item 4,103

I dun know why, but i suddenly feel the urge to rush out and get a pair of garter belt and stockings! Eeeh, dun ask me why and what for. :P

Please, oh please, dun let me walk past any lingerie shops.... argh!

Pictures courtesy of Victoria's Secret.

Painting

I just received my credit card bills for last month and realised that i spent almost $400 on 'paints'! Nah, not the artistic painting kind of paints... i am never an artistic kinda person (and dun tell me anything about abstract art, i can turn the picture upside down and right-to-left, stare at it for 3 days and never ever see anything). It's cosmetics i'm talking about. I got 2 new lipsticks, 1 blusher and 1 finishing powder. Yes, i know, those dun cost me $400 (unless they are made of gold)! The rest of the money goes to 4 bottles of whitening skincare. Yeah, i love to 'bleach' myself. Gals should look milky and fair rite?

My galfren's comment when she heard how much i spent and wat i bought was 'Why do u need so much ICI??' :P It's a skill for a gal to apply all the ICI paints and still look au naturel.

I can't wait to test them out.. Now, who wants to date me? :)

i need...

Things i need to do before my next birthday! Which sadly isn't too far off and that leaves me with not much time... :(


1. Sign up for some form of physical class... am thinking of either yoga or pilates. :)
2. Actually going for the above mentioned classes. Haha.
3. Rediscover my personal style.
4. Revamp my wardrobe.
5. Declutter my living spaces.
6. READ more! And i dun mean magazines or street directories or instruction manuals. :P
7. Learn a new hobby, by that i mean something that will keep me entertained for hours.. and blogging doesn't count.
8. Make more friends... i have no friends (why else do u think i am blogging on a saturday nite?).. PATHETIC!

Missing and Forgetting

I was just sitting there in the day and then these thoughts just flashed in my mind. Where are all the people i missed today? What are they doing at that very moment? Do they still remember that i exist? Do they care if i miss them still?

Yes, there are actually people that i miss. I wonder how have they been occassionally. Nope, i dun have a email address, a MSN id, a blog name, much less a mailing address! I guess i will have to miss them until the time when i can actually forget about them.

I feel good.. nah nah nah nah nah nah nah.. I know that I should..

Yup, that's rite. That's how i felt today. Oh wait, make it yesterday. :)
I was out during the day and did 2 good deeds. Yeah, i know... u must be thinking 'Oh my gosh!?!? She did?? The sun must have rose from the west today!' It's not that i am a horrible, selfish, arrogant, egotistc, narcissistic bitch. (Of cos not! How could u be thinking that?? Now i feel soooooooo sad. Haha!) It's just that i subscribe to the "Every man for himself" school of thought. If u dun help yourself, who in the world is going to help u? No?

So back to my 2 good deeds... Actually, they are no biggies. Just a small gesture on my part but it's something that not much people in our 'first world' country seem to be willing to do so. Make a guess... wat do u think i did today? I gave up my seats in the train on both occassions! :)

The first good deed was on the train to town, an old man came in and i stood up to give up my seat to him although he was standing some distance from me. He got off a few stations later though, while poor me continued to stand until i got to my stop. But it's okie.
The second time was on the trip back home. I was actually engrossed in my magazine and din notice a heavily pregnant woman standing in front of me. By the time i looked up, i guess she has already been standing for a while cos she looked quite tired. Of cos, i immediately stood up and offered her my seat which she accepted gratefully. Wat made me wonder was... why din anybody else offer her a seat?! There were many other abled-bodies planting their fat, lazy butts on the train seats too. I don't suppose they are all blind rite?